Pee Your Pants Excitement in Bangkok

I’m sitting in…uh…well…Starbucks.  In Bangkok.  Yep.  I’m very adventurous.  Actually, my hotel doesn’t have wireless, so I’m paying $5 to use the internet for an hour here.  Really!?  Don’t they realize that’s like three meals in India?

 I have done almost nothing since getting here.  I act like I’m recovering from something.  I have no idea what.  The 20-hour workweek?  The three prepared meals a day?  The personal drivers?   I have gotten exactly what I wanted – a big bed with crisp clean white sheet, a hot shower to feel clean again, a swim in a cool pool, a fruit smoothie, and a big bowl of muesli and yogurt.  Life is good.  

 It’s been overcast since I got here and today there was a downpour.  But, it hasn’t kept me away from the pool.  And, since I haven’t left a five-block radius from my hotel, it hasn’t affected anything else either.  Tonight I am venturing out to Cabbages and Condoms.  It’s a restaurant whose profits go to sex education and fighting the sex trade.  I’m kind of excited.  And, it’s about 8 blocks away, so I’m really stepping out of my comfort zone going.

 I was going to take the train tomorrow to Koh Tao – an island known for its diving.  However, the weather report says it’s supposed to be raining all week.  I might just stay in town through the weekend and actually see some of the sights.  Plus, I think I might have mentioned that I’m being lazy…

 Again, I haven’t really experienced the culture, but I have noticed a lot of white men with young Thai women in tow.  It’s horrible, but I automatically assume the women are prostitutes or some kind of mail order brides.  I overhead and observed a few couples in which they seemed to know nothing about each other.  But, really, it’s a huge generalization. 

I'm missing my new friends from India.  And, of course, it goes without saying that I miss my old friends, too.  And, like the social inept woman that I am, I missed my opportunity for a new friend in Thailand.  When I was filling out my exit slip some guy asked to use my pen.  I just handed it over and didn’t pay any attention to him.  I didn't even look at him.  I just stood there spacing off as he filled out his entire form next to me.   Of course it wasn't until he was walking away that I finally looked at him and realized that he was extremely hot. And, I’d totally ignored him.  I looked for him after security.  I thought maybe I could come up with something really clever to say while wandering the duty-free shop.  "Come here often?"  "I've always wanted 20lbs of KitKats for $80; what about you?".  But, I never saw him.  I figured what’s the point, it’s not like I’d see him again.  Then, as I’m boarding the plane, I realize he’s behind me.  I spent the whole flight trying to catch his eye.  He was about 12 seats behind me, so he never saw me and I just looked like a crazy person turning around in my seat every ten minutes.  Then, as I’m in line for a taxi, I see him in front of me.  He turned around and smiled as he was getting into a cab.  But, of course, it took me a second to realize what was happening, so all he saw was me starring blankly at him in my misshapen t-shirt and dirty pajama pants.  Nice.  Anyway, what's my point?  I don't have one.  It's just annoying that I'm so clueless and have no powers of observation.  Who knows what kinds of opportunities I'm missing out on.

 OK, the coffee is catching up to me.  I'm about to pee my pants - or skirt if you want to get technical.  But, I only have this one hour to use the internet and I just can't waste any time using the restroom.  So...I'll just sit here and tap along to the beat of the music really really really enthusiastically.