I need carreer counseling...or maybe just counseling

I have writer’s block. This happened shortly after I decided I wanted to be a writer. I like the idea of people asking me what I do and I say “I’m a writer.” It beats “uh…well…I don’t really do anything.” Or, “I’m currently a professional volunteer. What? No, I’m not 85, why do you ask?” Or, simply “I’m a slacker.”

Of course, the response “I’m a writer” is usually followed by “what have you written?” “Well, most recently I self-published a moving piece on tiny pools and phallic doughnuts.” Potential new friend slowly moves away…

It’s safe to say that whatever random career I try out next, I will hate it. I want to be an aid worker. I hate aid work. I want to be a writer. I have writer’s block. I want to be a surgeon. I will quite five minutes into my first surgery. “Can someone sew this guy back up?…I’m just not feeling this.” Just like I wanted to be a real estate investor. And, now I really wish my portfolio would burn down.

I just like the idea of doing things. I really don’t like to actually do them. I’m an ideas person. I’m not an implementer. I’ll come up with great ideas like the corner dishwasher; you go out and figure out how to make it happen. My only concern is that it be profitable. No, let’s just break even. The most important thing is that the factory be shaped like a giant corner dishwasher. I’ll have a legacy of unprofitable bars, coffee shops, housing developments, family-friendly strip clubs and dishwasher factories. And, I will have visited none of them. I’ll be too busy volunteering – stuck on some desolate island counting endangered sea turtle eggs, complaining daily and slowly developing a hatred for all sea life and the environment in general.